Saturday, 17 March 2012

The Eurovision Shite Contest

So Engelbert Humperdinck will represent GB at the Eurovision Song Contest. Great. Let us hope that the site of Engelbert crooning into a bus-pass is no more ridiculous than the other musical atrocities that will invade your ears come the event. But it's not like GB can do any worse than it has previously. 
     
Yet Humperdinck or not, it is difficult to deride the Eurovision as a song contest.  In the first place, it's hardly European anymore given that countries like Israel feature; and this year the thing is being held in Azerbaijan! Secondly, the Eurovision isn't a song contest - it's a national popularity contest.
     
Time and again we see the same patterns: The Scandinavian block will resolutely back each other, GB will be inexplicably unpopular, and Germany will vote for Turkey because of the large Turkish minority there. Indeed, if Tunisia/Algeria featured, then France would vote for them, if India or Pakistan featured, (don't count it out) then GB would vote for them. 
     
The Eurovision is more a shameless political barometer than it is a song contest. It reflects the pro-activity of national minorities within the countries involved more than it does the musical quality - which is always low. Perhaps the dire nature of the music is why the 'contest' degenerates into national sniping. I don't know or care who is 'competing' in it this year, but if Greece and Germany are in it, you can be sure that they won't be giving each other any points.
     
How will GB get success next year? 
  1. Do not deploy a zombie to rep
  2. Ensure Libya is in
  3. Join the Euro
 Whatever.


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